![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
songbirdspeaksTitle: Occasional dinner plans: The time there was redecorating
Group Arashi, TOKIO, KinKi Kids
Pairings: Nagase/Matsujun
Characters: Nagase, Matsujun, Tsuyoshi, Koichi
Prompt: 044, Room
Word Count: 1652
Rating: PG-13 for ~implications~
Summary: Jun redecorates the living room. Nagase grows a protest beard. Jun threatens Nagase’s chest hair and schedules nude photoshoots. You know, the usual.
Warnings: Established relationship, stupidity (seriously what)
Notes: The World Beard and Mustache Championships are real, for the record. Takes place in the year 2010, before the events of part 1. Sorry this took forever! :D;;
Previous parts: (1, 2.) This is helpful, though not required.
Jun’s alarm blared, and his arm shot out of the covers to flick it off. He stretched, lazily, and then hissed in pain—his arm had caught Nagase’s chin. Stupid rug—beard?—burn. He rubbed at it distractedly and shifted up onto his elbow, looking down at the drooling mass of boyfriend sprawled halfway across his pillow.
Maybe he’d attack Nagase with a razor while he was in the shower? He considered how much of it he’d have to shave off for Nagase to give up instead of just leaving it. A lot, obviously, as Nagase would be more than willing to let a beard grow in unevenly if he thought it would irritate Jun.
All this for the sake of one naked lady poster on the living room wall! And they said Jun was the drama queen.
“Tomoya,” he said, quietly, ruffling Nagase’s hair.
“Nnnngh,” Nagase managed, batting Jun’s hands away and clutching at his pillow.
“Tomoya, you have to get up,” Jun said, more loudly.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nagase grumbled, eyes blinking open slowly. He offered Jun a lazy good morning smile before he remembered he was mad at Jun, and Nagase sat up quickly, rubbing at his fuzzy chin.
“Good morning,” Jun said, all good cheer.
“…mornin’,” Nagase mumbled after a moment, like it hurt him to be pleasant.
“Ko-chaaaaaaan,” Nagase wailed, bursting into the room the KinKi Kids shared.
“Nagase,” Koichi said, wary. The last time Nagase wailed like that Koichi found himself with a lap-full of puppy while Nagase went joy-riding. Admittedly, Puppy was cute, but still. He was missing out on joy-riding.
“Jun is a dictator! Help me throw a coop!”
It took Koichi a moment to process that—“you mean a coup, right?”
“Yeah. That. Help me! His reign of close-minded naked-hating décor in our living room has to end!”
“Who taught you décor?” murmured Tsuyoshi, Nagase pouted.
“There will be no large, classless images of naked women for as long as we live together, To-mo-ya~” Jun called from the doorway. Koichi blinked.
“Are you some kind of stalker?” hissed Nagase, jutting out his chin and scratching obnoxiously at it.
Jun winced at the reminder of the creature growing on Nagase’s face. “No,” he answered, pleasantly, “it’s just that everyone on the third floor can hear you wailing about how unfair I am for not putting a Playboy shoot on our living room wall.”
“But it’s perfect! It goes with my DVD collection!”
“The DVD collection I put in a covered shelf so my mother would stop commenting on your porn tastes?”
“Yeah, that one. You take away all my fun!”
“Yes, because refusing to plaster the walls of our home in naked women is so cruel of me.”
“I don’t say anything about your Michael Jackson doll collection!”
“If you value your beers in the fridge you won’t say anything,” Jun said, and Nagase lapsed into sullen silence.
“Beer~ glitter~” Tsuyoshi began singing across the room.
Jun scowled at Nagase’s shoes, split up like he’d kicked them off in a flurry of running, his bag dropped on the kitchen table, his things spilling out all over the place. Jun put Nagase’s collection of dirty magazines in the trash, as usual, and returned his iPod and his phone to their respective pockets. (The flask of whiskey went in the liquor cabinet.) He bent to say hello to the puppy, pleased when he licked at Jun’s fingers. The little successes were important!
“Tomoya,” he called, “Tomoya?”
“In the office, Jun~!”
Well, he at least sounded a little happier. Jun leaned into Nagase’s ‘refuge of manliness’ (also known as the only room in the house Jun was contractually required to keep out of unless it smelled like food) and pulled a face, grossed out.
“What are you doing?” he asked, weakly, “what—what are you doing to the walls?”
“Huh?” Nagase didn’t look up from his desk, where he was applying Elmer’s glue to the back of a page from Playboy. Half of the office was covered in pages from that blasted magazine, women in various poses of debauchery and states of undress. Jun was—mostly okay with Nagase’s love of women and boobs and asses and all the other lovely things about women that made them women, seeing as he wasn’t going home to any of them—but—
“If a single centimeter of this paper leaves the office,” he began, before Nagase looked up and the creature on his face made itself apparent.
“What’s on your face?” Jun asked.
Nagase patted at his beard, which was now a shaggy creature from the depths of hell that resembled the dog after he dug in the garden, leaving streaks of glue—“oh, didn’t I tell you?! I’m entering the World Beard and Moustache Championships!”
Jun prided himself on not passing out out of sheer rage. “I… see,” he said, “and when does this competition take place?”
“I missed this year’s by like a month! Next year I’m taking first place.”
Jun turned on his heel and stalked out.
“Do you think I should try the handlebar or the Fu Manchu?!”
“Did you hear about Naga-nii getting a naked an-an shoot~?” Nino asked between shoots for the month.
“Yes,” said Jun, sullen, “I was hoping they were going to tell him to shave but no dice. They like the scruff.”
“You don’t like the scruff?” Nino asked, “I thought the manlier the better for you!”
Jun eyed him. “If he groomed his beard like he grooms his chest hair I’d like it better. He’s just doing this to irritate me, you know!”
“A~ah,” said Nino, “where’s the Matsujun who’d get revenge instead of getting so annoyed his forehead starts to look wrinkly?”
Jun turned to examine his forehead in a mirror, and when he turned around to glare at Nino no one was there. Of course.
Nagase rolled over when the sun grew too oppressive to stay in bed any longer, only to find himself tied up rather securely. He blinked his eyes open—Jun, in his underwear, straddling his lap.
“You should warn me next time you’re tying me up,” said Nagase, yawning, “I’d send the puppy to Ko-chan!”
Jun smiled pleasantly. Then he reached into the bedside table.
Nagase shrieked. “No no no keep that thing away from my face Juuuuuun—”
Jun flicked the razor on.
Jun walked into work with a swing in his step, whistling. In contrast, Nagase was dragging his feet, wearing three shirts and a jacket buttoned up to the neck, and he avoided Jun’s hand landing on his arm with a squawk.
All of the kouhai heard it when Taichi cracked a joke about Nagase having a giant J shaved into his chest hair. They also heard Nagase’s return crack about being able to grow chest hair, but most eyes were on Jun’s sudden, cheery entrance into the cafeteria.
Jun came home to find Nagase bundled up on the couch, watching reruns of Pride.
“I hope you’re happy, the puppy hates me,” Nagase sniffled.
Jun rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who started up a protest campaign about a picture in the living room!”
“You never listen to my suggestions!”
“You wanted to put a lip-shaped couch in our living room!”
“Wouldn’t it have been awesome and avant-garde?”
“No. It would have been tacky.”
“You wear pants with sparkles on them, are you really in a position to be talking about tacky?”
“You cut the legs off all of your jeans when I’m not looking!”
“Did you know that Aiba told me about falling testosterone levels coming with age?! Kimura-kun offered me Nakai’s anti-balding crème!”
“This is what you get for crossing me!”
“You’ll never understand me!”
“Are you fourteen?!”
Nagase pouted. Jun rolled his eyes (but made Nagase a cheeseburger for dinner).
The an-an shoot apparently went off without a hitch—except for the part where they shaved the rest of Nagase’s chest hair off. Jun felt a momentary pang of guilt, but then Nagase grumbled something about everything being Jun the prude’s fault, and that was forgotten.
TOKIO took the opportunity to wallpaper Nagase’s dressing room for 5LDK with pictures of hairless Nagase, chest hair doodled on for him. Nagase sent Jun a pouty message filled with whining. Jun thanked the rest of his wonderful senpai, and hit Nino up for a favor, which really consisted of sending Nino scans of Jun's shoot for an-an and asking him to Photoshop Nagase’s head on the model (Nino was happy to oblige, thought the company-wide email of it he'd sent 'by accident' might have been a bit much).
Thankfully for Nagase, his chest hair grew quickly, and when it was back in full force he walked around the office without a shirt. For an entire week.
Jun came home thinking he’d find Nagase and the puppy curled up on the floor, the puppy burrowed into Nagase’s chest hair or something like he preferred, and instead found the dog waiting for him. Jun’s heart sang with glee, and he reached down to scoop him up, whistling off-key.
“Tomoya?” he called.
Nagase leaned out of the bathroom, his razor hanging from his facial hair. “Juuuuuuuun,” he whined, “help meeeeeee!”
(Jun mourned the loss of a steel-plated special edition razor as he perched on the counter, trimming the hair into a garbage can and then attacking with the razor, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made!)
They were on the couch, Jun half-thrown over Nagase’s lap and not watching the soccer game. “So,” he said, when a commercial came on, “I’ve been considering my no-nude policy.”
“…really?” asked Nagase, eyes wide.
“I’ve made an appointment with a—discreet—photographer to do a spread. Of the two of us.”
“In the nude, right,” Nagase clarified.
“Yes, Tomoya, in the nude.”
Nagase hauled him fully onto his lap to crush him in a hug.
“Can’t—breathe—”
“…whoops.”
Group Arashi, TOKIO, KinKi Kids
Pairings: Nagase/Matsujun
Characters: Nagase, Matsujun, Tsuyoshi, Koichi
Prompt: 044, Room
Word Count: 1652
Rating: PG-13 for ~implications~
Summary: Jun redecorates the living room. Nagase grows a protest beard. Jun threatens Nagase’s chest hair and schedules nude photoshoots. You know, the usual.
Warnings: Established relationship, stupidity (seriously what)
Notes: The World Beard and Mustache Championships are real, for the record. Takes place in the year 2010, before the events of part 1. Sorry this took forever! :D;;
Previous parts: (1, 2.) This is helpful, though not required.
Jun’s alarm blared, and his arm shot out of the covers to flick it off. He stretched, lazily, and then hissed in pain—his arm had caught Nagase’s chin. Stupid rug—beard?—burn. He rubbed at it distractedly and shifted up onto his elbow, looking down at the drooling mass of boyfriend sprawled halfway across his pillow.
Maybe he’d attack Nagase with a razor while he was in the shower? He considered how much of it he’d have to shave off for Nagase to give up instead of just leaving it. A lot, obviously, as Nagase would be more than willing to let a beard grow in unevenly if he thought it would irritate Jun.
All this for the sake of one naked lady poster on the living room wall! And they said Jun was the drama queen.
“Tomoya,” he said, quietly, ruffling Nagase’s hair.
“Nnnngh,” Nagase managed, batting Jun’s hands away and clutching at his pillow.
“Tomoya, you have to get up,” Jun said, more loudly.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nagase grumbled, eyes blinking open slowly. He offered Jun a lazy good morning smile before he remembered he was mad at Jun, and Nagase sat up quickly, rubbing at his fuzzy chin.
“Good morning,” Jun said, all good cheer.
“…mornin’,” Nagase mumbled after a moment, like it hurt him to be pleasant.
“Ko-chaaaaaaan,” Nagase wailed, bursting into the room the KinKi Kids shared.
“Nagase,” Koichi said, wary. The last time Nagase wailed like that Koichi found himself with a lap-full of puppy while Nagase went joy-riding. Admittedly, Puppy was cute, but still. He was missing out on joy-riding.
“Jun is a dictator! Help me throw a coop!”
It took Koichi a moment to process that—“you mean a coup, right?”
“Yeah. That. Help me! His reign of close-minded naked-hating décor in our living room has to end!”
“Who taught you décor?” murmured Tsuyoshi, Nagase pouted.
“There will be no large, classless images of naked women for as long as we live together, To-mo-ya~” Jun called from the doorway. Koichi blinked.
“Are you some kind of stalker?” hissed Nagase, jutting out his chin and scratching obnoxiously at it.
Jun winced at the reminder of the creature growing on Nagase’s face. “No,” he answered, pleasantly, “it’s just that everyone on the third floor can hear you wailing about how unfair I am for not putting a Playboy shoot on our living room wall.”
“But it’s perfect! It goes with my DVD collection!”
“The DVD collection I put in a covered shelf so my mother would stop commenting on your porn tastes?”
“Yeah, that one. You take away all my fun!”
“Yes, because refusing to plaster the walls of our home in naked women is so cruel of me.”
“I don’t say anything about your Michael Jackson doll collection!”
“If you value your beers in the fridge you won’t say anything,” Jun said, and Nagase lapsed into sullen silence.
“Beer~ glitter~” Tsuyoshi began singing across the room.
Jun scowled at Nagase’s shoes, split up like he’d kicked them off in a flurry of running, his bag dropped on the kitchen table, his things spilling out all over the place. Jun put Nagase’s collection of dirty magazines in the trash, as usual, and returned his iPod and his phone to their respective pockets. (The flask of whiskey went in the liquor cabinet.) He bent to say hello to the puppy, pleased when he licked at Jun’s fingers. The little successes were important!
“Tomoya,” he called, “Tomoya?”
“In the office, Jun~!”
Well, he at least sounded a little happier. Jun leaned into Nagase’s ‘refuge of manliness’ (also known as the only room in the house Jun was contractually required to keep out of unless it smelled like food) and pulled a face, grossed out.
“What are you doing?” he asked, weakly, “what—what are you doing to the walls?”
“Huh?” Nagase didn’t look up from his desk, where he was applying Elmer’s glue to the back of a page from Playboy. Half of the office was covered in pages from that blasted magazine, women in various poses of debauchery and states of undress. Jun was—mostly okay with Nagase’s love of women and boobs and asses and all the other lovely things about women that made them women, seeing as he wasn’t going home to any of them—but—
“If a single centimeter of this paper leaves the office,” he began, before Nagase looked up and the creature on his face made itself apparent.
“What’s on your face?” Jun asked.
Nagase patted at his beard, which was now a shaggy creature from the depths of hell that resembled the dog after he dug in the garden, leaving streaks of glue—“oh, didn’t I tell you?! I’m entering the World Beard and Moustache Championships!”
Jun prided himself on not passing out out of sheer rage. “I… see,” he said, “and when does this competition take place?”
“I missed this year’s by like a month! Next year I’m taking first place.”
Jun turned on his heel and stalked out.
“Do you think I should try the handlebar or the Fu Manchu?!”
“Did you hear about Naga-nii getting a naked an-an shoot~?” Nino asked between shoots for the month.
“Yes,” said Jun, sullen, “I was hoping they were going to tell him to shave but no dice. They like the scruff.”
“You don’t like the scruff?” Nino asked, “I thought the manlier the better for you!”
Jun eyed him. “If he groomed his beard like he grooms his chest hair I’d like it better. He’s just doing this to irritate me, you know!”
“A~ah,” said Nino, “where’s the Matsujun who’d get revenge instead of getting so annoyed his forehead starts to look wrinkly?”
Jun turned to examine his forehead in a mirror, and when he turned around to glare at Nino no one was there. Of course.
Nagase rolled over when the sun grew too oppressive to stay in bed any longer, only to find himself tied up rather securely. He blinked his eyes open—Jun, in his underwear, straddling his lap.
“You should warn me next time you’re tying me up,” said Nagase, yawning, “I’d send the puppy to Ko-chan!”
Jun smiled pleasantly. Then he reached into the bedside table.
Nagase shrieked. “No no no keep that thing away from my face Juuuuuun—”
Jun flicked the razor on.
Jun walked into work with a swing in his step, whistling. In contrast, Nagase was dragging his feet, wearing three shirts and a jacket buttoned up to the neck, and he avoided Jun’s hand landing on his arm with a squawk.
All of the kouhai heard it when Taichi cracked a joke about Nagase having a giant J shaved into his chest hair. They also heard Nagase’s return crack about being able to grow chest hair, but most eyes were on Jun’s sudden, cheery entrance into the cafeteria.
Jun came home to find Nagase bundled up on the couch, watching reruns of Pride.
“I hope you’re happy, the puppy hates me,” Nagase sniffled.
Jun rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who started up a protest campaign about a picture in the living room!”
“You never listen to my suggestions!”
“You wanted to put a lip-shaped couch in our living room!”
“Wouldn’t it have been awesome and avant-garde?”
“No. It would have been tacky.”
“You wear pants with sparkles on them, are you really in a position to be talking about tacky?”
“You cut the legs off all of your jeans when I’m not looking!”
“Did you know that Aiba told me about falling testosterone levels coming with age?! Kimura-kun offered me Nakai’s anti-balding crème!”
“This is what you get for crossing me!”
“You’ll never understand me!”
“Are you fourteen?!”
Nagase pouted. Jun rolled his eyes (but made Nagase a cheeseburger for dinner).
The an-an shoot apparently went off without a hitch—except for the part where they shaved the rest of Nagase’s chest hair off. Jun felt a momentary pang of guilt, but then Nagase grumbled something about everything being Jun the prude’s fault, and that was forgotten.
TOKIO took the opportunity to wallpaper Nagase’s dressing room for 5LDK with pictures of hairless Nagase, chest hair doodled on for him. Nagase sent Jun a pouty message filled with whining. Jun thanked the rest of his wonderful senpai, and hit Nino up for a favor, which really consisted of sending Nino scans of Jun's shoot for an-an and asking him to Photoshop Nagase’s head on the model (Nino was happy to oblige, thought the company-wide email of it he'd sent 'by accident' might have been a bit much).
Thankfully for Nagase, his chest hair grew quickly, and when it was back in full force he walked around the office without a shirt. For an entire week.
Jun came home thinking he’d find Nagase and the puppy curled up on the floor, the puppy burrowed into Nagase’s chest hair or something like he preferred, and instead found the dog waiting for him. Jun’s heart sang with glee, and he reached down to scoop him up, whistling off-key.
“Tomoya?” he called.
Nagase leaned out of the bathroom, his razor hanging from his facial hair. “Juuuuuuuun,” he whined, “help meeeeeee!”
(Jun mourned the loss of a steel-plated special edition razor as he perched on the counter, trimming the hair into a garbage can and then attacking with the razor, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made!)
They were on the couch, Jun half-thrown over Nagase’s lap and not watching the soccer game. “So,” he said, when a commercial came on, “I’ve been considering my no-nude policy.”
“…really?” asked Nagase, eyes wide.
“I’ve made an appointment with a—discreet—photographer to do a spread. Of the two of us.”
“In the nude, right,” Nagase clarified.
“Yes, Tomoya, in the nude.”
Nagase hauled him fully onto his lap to crush him in a hug.
“Can’t—breathe—”
“…whoops.”
